its so so so hard to keep ur life together and not break once in a while when so many things are going on.
Sometimes its fun. This whole busy schedule and sometimes i love it. But this is just one of the times i absolutely abhor. I really do.
I feel so lethargic and tired all the time and i feel like this whole studying thing is slowly breaking me. And i hate it. But its not something that i can just give up on. Its really not. Is it the way i managed my time? Or is it just that im so weak that i cant keep up unlike the others?
This is the first time ever that i feel so unprepared and just in a mess for an exam. Its all such a sudden thing, and the worst hasnt even come yet! How am i supposed to enjoy my holiday when i’d be sleeping during that precious time instead? To fill up the hours i lost to studying and killing myself within. This is insane and i dont know how to fix it.
You should have studied earlier then. Thats what people would say but i know myself and i know that its not gonna work if i study earlier because i wont be concentrated and it just wont go in my head! I tried but it just doesnt.
What im most worried about, besides my life being wrecked because of this, is the future. What if this happens during the actual igcse? Or trials? These are the results that im gonna be sending to places for enrolment for further studies and i dont want to kill my brain, soul and heart in the process of it. Its emotionally draining and i just hate the way i feel everyday.
I want to take the exam with confidence (a lil worry too), not with heavy eyebags and a tired zombie-like body.
I wish my results pay off this term. Im really scared because i dont feel as prepared than i can and i keep dozing off as well as get distracted to do other things like this, writing a blog post when im supposed to be studying my maths. Ugh.
Good luck to me for the death week next week and my Igcse for mandarin. I really really hope i can get an A. Please please please!