thursday 21 2.14am
Its 2am and im doing handstands, forearm stands and all that stuff when suddenly this thought came to my mind: im so blessed.
This ‘blessing’ is something that all of us share. We are so so capable of doing so many things and we dont appreciate this enough than we should!
We are so blessed to breathe normally, walk properly, have all senses functioning well. We are so blessed to have a shelter to live in, clean water to drink, clothes for us to pick and choose, the list goes on!
I guess i wasnt as aware as before and now that i think about it, i remember when i injured my finger, i would get so frustrated because i couldnt do those little things that a normal person should be able to do! Simple things like opening a bottle and holding my books were not such big things yet i would get so frustrated and ask myself ‘why cant do this simple thing. Omg why must my finger be injured’ and negative thoughts would arise and yeah.
When i injured my knees, i couldnt walk up and down the stairs well and i would always be left behind in everything because i was too slow. That was so embarrassing and i hated it! But it wasnt something i should have blamed myself, yet i sometimes did.
Im a person who loves myself, quite a lot actually hahahah in a good way definitely. Not in a way that you’re so proud and come off as a braggart. Which i dislike in people haha! So because im a person who rarely criticizes and hates myself, i rarely blame myself for things and beat myself down.
So the whole point of talking about my injuries is not about how i hated and blamed myself for all the injuries but instead, its how we learn to appreciate our bodies and nature more when we dont have it.
Its cool and fascinating. I take both of these injuries as an amazing learning experience that i am so much! Im so capable of doing much so i should do them when i can! Im young, my mind is active, my body is active so why waste time? I wanna run around, play all sports, meet new people and absorb everything through my senses, memorize a scenery in my head, read and write poems, discuss opinions about anything, wake up super early to see the sunset because when something beautiful is happening, why miss it? Once you miss it, you will never have known what that sunrise would have looked or felt like.
Its crazy. This whole capacity thing.
I cant wait to explore to the fullest! I love my body and i appreciate everything around me so so much.