thursday 28 12.37am
If you didnt know i made 4 resolutions this year, with no footnotes unlike the 5 resolutions i made last year with 5 small footnotes which gladly, i acheived most of them!
But thats not the point of this post.
Recently, i dont know how but all of a sudden, there was a sudden pang that hit me with realization of the word ‘nice’
There was this quote that i absolutely adored that said ‘be around nice people and if you cant any, be the nice one’ or something like that. And i would just really look up and live by that quote until i realised what was ‘nice’ anyway?????
I stopped liking that quote because of the possibility of not liking the word ‘nice’. Recently i was thinking about my surroundings and the people i had to mingle around with and there was one group that i just couldnt find anyone nice. Everyone was being a bitch to each other, gossiping behind their backs, picking fights with each other and all that nasty stuff. And i was in that group. It wasnt something i could just avoid because the group was formed for specific reasons.
Everyone threw responsibilities around and blamed each other if something went wrong. Avoiding doing tasks because they dont want to be burdened then picking at little things when other people do the task. Its really annoying and frustrating. But yeah.
No one was nice in that group so i thought okay lets be the nice one! But how???
Was i ‘supposed’ to take all the tasks since no one wanted to do them and put all the burden on myself just to be criticized and unhappy? Putting all the burden on me just because i wanted to be nice is not what i want. Yes i am so so so willing to do what it takes to be nice but i dont want to do these acts not only because i would be the only one suffering, but because i really dont know how do these is going to help anyone!!
I dont know. Im just so confused because idont know what nice means exactly. Soo for now until i-dont-know-when this will be a mystery.