Category Archives: Inspiration/Motivation


I’ve been aware of the need to go to they gym and eating healthy to be ‘healthy’, well cause it’s promoted so much on the media. but what i missed out on was mental health regarding the realm of ‘health’. my sleep patterns would be affected by my poor management of stress where there would be periods of time i kept sleeping and feeling tired (before, during, after class) – basically any time of the day. and there would periods of time where i just couldnt sleep at all and had to keep forcing myself to. i would lie on my bed till 3-3.30am in the dark just tossing and turning around.

However, what was affected more was my eating habits. I had gained a LOT of weight since my stay in Kuching. Some people would say it’s because I’m maturing physically with more curves and such. However, i hated it. a lot. i’ve always like the small, skinny physique so I didn’t want to be curvy. what i’d also realize was the amount of unhealthy food i would suddenly eat when study-stressed, bored or after a test or exam. Woo it was just bad.

One more thing I found out was the amount of exercise I really wasn’t doing. I thought the constant walking back and forth from my condo to the school was already being sort-of active because in Sarawak, i never had to walk like that anyway. I was so wrong.

This brings in the professional help I got, which I mentioned in my previous post, towards the end of the year when i really realized that something was wrong and I needed to get my life together. The psychiatrist brought up light (sunlight), exercise or simply watching people exercising and the main issue of dealing with homesickness. i thought i knew what homesickness was because i experienced it v unpleasantly during one holiday without my family but this homesickness was different with a more long lasting duration thing that revolves around your life constantly.

Fast forward to the current situation: so so much better, with tons more exercise and looking less bloated, lost some weight i think? (maybe not on the scale but physically when i see myself in the mirror, it’s better!), and not feeling so homesick anymore!!! I’m still dealing with stress and my eating habits especially. Sleeping schedule’s a icky thing to work on too esp since i’m a mixture between a lion and wolf (the four different types of sleep animals are dolphins, bears, lions and wolves – check it out, it’s freakin cool). I love waking up early and rockin on from the morning and automatically feeling damn tired by 11pm, but sometimes i just continue on with the day till 3am and still feeling fine and productive.

To end this post, i just wanna say how the first 14-15 months of college has really expanded my knowledge of health, exercise and fitness. I love health and always feel like shit if i’ve not been in the gym for 2 weeks which happens sometimes. but its a process and i want to embrace everything im going through. my priorities are in check this year and i love love it! ❤

p.s. aksljfhawe i. cant. decide. on. which. school. to. go. to. i got accepted into all the schools i applied, including University of Illinois, University of Minnesota – Twin Cities, University of Michigan – Ann Arbor (and University of Iowa as my backup). My top choice (and the one I was suuuper anxious about was Umich but now since I got accepted into all of them which I didnt think i would, I’m deciding between Minn and Mich. Fingers crossed that whatever school I pick works out well. urgh! hhahaha



here it is again, another year, another set of resolutions…

  1. experience! say yes! try new things even if you’re not really comfortable with it because who knows, great things are bound to happen more when you step out of your comfort zone.
  2. lets read more! im trying to read at least 1 book a month. i might read 3 books on March then not read anything until November, which is something i want to start avoiding by 2016…i want consistency!
  3. a cleaner diet!! please!! i’ve been binging since forever, been sleeping at 2am everyday and barely workout anymore! 😥 I needa start eating healthy but delicious food! i know i can find some good healthy food if i look hard enough for it. and this isnt a resolution so its not going to be the next point.. but rather a goal. I want to workout A LOT more and try to mix cardio and strength training.

Someone i kinda adore said this on a vid about how she got into better shape: take food more seriously, get a trainer, workout A LOT and eat healthy food most of the time.


wednesday 23 12.48am

Christmas; my favorite holiday i must say. I’m not Christian nor religous at all in fact… but there’s something so special about holidays. It brings people together, rekindle lost relationships, provide opportunities to make love, share, make memories with friends and family and also, they bring in lots of money for business. haha :p

I may not believe in Christianity or any religion but i do believe in the spirit of joy and laughter. Holidays do that; they can bring happiness, that is, if you allow yourself to get into the holiday spirit. Its just so much fun. Different people may have different traditions for Christmas. For us, we don’t wrap presents, we don’t decorate a Christmas tree, we don’t pray and say thanks for Jesus or any sort, but we do get into some tradition which i believe is important for a holiday because that will make you look forward to it. We always bake and cook together (me and my sister). We get inspired by Christmas recipes and compile a list of what to make and we go grocery shopping and start buzzing around! It is so fun!

So, my point is, even if you dont like it, don’t be a Grinch. Goddammit, it just makes your life sad.. have some fun in your life!! My Dad doesnt approve of Christianity but that doesnt stop me from getting into the holiday spirit of Christmas and get super excited!!!!! Life should be filled with joy. I dont know, i think that’s it. hahah ok bye


thursday 21 2.14am

Its 2am and im doing handstands, forearm stands and all that stuff when suddenly this thought came to my mind: im so blessed.

This ‘blessing’ is something that all of us share. We are so so capable of doing so many things and we dont appreciate this enough than we should!

 We are so blessed to breathe normally, walk properly, have all senses functioning well. We are so blessed to have a shelter to live in, clean water to drink, clothes for us to pick and choose, the list goes on!

I guess i wasnt as aware as before and now that i think about it, i remember when i injured my finger, i would get so frustrated because i couldnt do those little things that a normal person should be able to do! Simple things like opening a bottle and holding my books were not such big things yet i would get so frustrated and ask myself ‘why cant do this simple thing. Omg why must my finger be injured’ and negative thoughts would arise and yeah. 

When i injured my knees, i couldnt walk up and down the stairs well and i would always be left behind in everything because i was too slow. That was so embarrassing and i hated it! But it wasnt something i should have blamed myself, yet i sometimes did.

Im a person who loves myself, quite a lot actually hahahah in a good way definitely. Not in a way that you’re so proud and come off as a braggart. Which i dislike in people haha! So because im a person who rarely criticizes and hates myself, i rarely blame myself for things and beat myself down. 

So the whole point of talking about my injuries is not about how i hated and blamed myself for all the injuries but instead, its how we learn to appreciate our bodies and nature more when we dont have it.

Its cool and fascinating. I take both of these injuries as an amazing learning experience that i am so much! Im so capable of doing much so i should do them when i can! Im young, my mind is active, my body is active so why waste time? I wanna run around, play all sports, meet new people and absorb everything through my senses, memorize a  scenery in my head, read and write poems, discuss opinions about anything, wake up super early to see the sunset because when something beautiful is happening, why miss it? Once you miss it, you will never have known what that sunrise would have looked or felt like. 

Its crazy. This whole capacity thing. 

I cant wait to explore to the fullest! I love my body and i appreciate everything around me so so much. 


made in 2013

  1. Ride in a hot air balloon
  2. Go to a Brandy Melville store
  3. Ride a horse freely
  4. Have 5 cats; black, white (crystal/angel), light yellow (butter), orange with stripes (teeger/tiger), grey (truffle/fleur)
  5. Go running around the neighbourhood in workout clothes 
  6. Get an inner lip tattoo (3letters)
  7. Belly piercing and a lot on ears
  8. Dye hair! Pastel
  9. Get an album of mine🎶🎤
  10. Do a shoot for a store (H&M, F21, Brandy, Etc)
  11. Meet Miranda Kerr
  12. Run on the beach at 5.30am
  13. Be an official yogi
  14. Have the perfect bikini
  15. Be a piano teacher part time
  16. Barista!
  17. Get my first part time job at age 14/15
  18. Drive
  19. Build a mini flower garden
  20. Visit italy & eat
  21. Greece santorini
  22. Travel to india and learn: culture, tradition, dance!
  23. Learn meditation
  24. Volunteer to help children in undeveloped countries
  25. Rescue someone and save his/her life
  26. Go to Machu Pichu
  27. Go bungee jumping! 


The title actually means hair but…wtvs haha

There are some times where im not cowardly… Like at all. Its weird because some of the times i can be super scared of everything but other times no. This doesnt include things like scary rollercoaster rides or bungeejumping. I love doing things like that! Which again, is weird, because im brave in that way yet i can be super cowardly.

Ok. So i was skipping rope and i just got really frustrated because my hair kept hitting the rope so i went in my room, grabbed scissors and i grabbed a huge chunk of hair and cut it off. Just like that. The length of hair went from my ribs (does that even make sense? Haha like my hair was at my ribs) to my collar bones.

So i just made my hair to a slightly- long bob when suddenly my sister said, “uhhh you cut a chunk of hair too short….” I was like WHAT. Omg. So i spent quite some time fixing that and now its ok!

So yeahzz. For me, i dont find it scary to cut your own hair just because, IT’LL GROW! With time, your hair will grow longer and if you made a mistake, it’ll be ok. So im always making reckless things with my hair! Luv the short bob! Never ever thought i could pull it off though… This is definitely something different for me, a new look. A lot of people are quite some time getting used to it but i guess they’ll get used to it sooner or later.

Tomorrow is the first day of school of 2015. It was supposed to be on the 5th but because of all the floods, all schools were postponed.

I dont want to study! But ugh 😦 i have no choice. I really dont want to study hahaha. I should stop saying that. Anyways bye! Talk to you soon x